Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Conversation with the Universe

Me: Dear Universe, Just because we survived through one colicky/reflux baby does not mean we were hoping for the same thing this time around.

Universe: Hey, I didn't give you the same thing. This baby is a colicky/reflux/doesn't sleep/refuses a pacifier baby.

Me: Right. Thanks. Where's the karma? I thought we already paid our dues last time.

Uni: You sure did. But I wanted you to have a chance to apply what you learned last time.

Me: Okay, so we learned to put the baby on level 1 reflux meds right away instead of waiting until he's 10 weeks old.

Uni: See, good work.

Me: Well, how about some credit for doing things right? It's looking like this baby needs level 2 meds just like Owen did. Thanks a lot.

Uni: But see, you know what to do. And you've also been figuring out what foods to avoid...

Me: Yes. Sweet. No tomatoes. Possibly no spicy foods. Great things to avoid when trying to feed a family.

Uni: You also forgot caffeine. That's on the "no" list as of today.

Me: Thanks for the reminder. As if that doesn't add insult to injury. Sleep deprived and trying to avoid caffeine, so the baby will (in theory) sleep better. Nice.

Uni: I'm just looking out for you. Besides, I clearly remember you saying you would be willing to deal with the reflux this time around.

Me: Boy, that's selective memory. I think that conversation came with Scott saying he was hoping for a baby without reflux and I said, "I'll take the reflux again as long AS LONG AS THE BABY SLEEPS WELL." Remember??

Uni: Hmm. Well, I just heard the first part.

Me: Can we at least make a deal? How about you cut us some slack and not send us the UPS Man, Ringing Phone, or Barking Dog the very instant I finally get the baby to sleep?

Uni: What do I get in return?

Me: I'll get back to you. The baby just woke up.


Carmen Goetschius said...

Clever, clever post. Awful, awful content.

Love and prayers to you as you do this round 2!

Anonymous said...

I'm saying a prayer for you that your world gets a bit easier! Max has allowed the nanny to hold him for an hour at a time the last two days... still no Robert or anyone else! The trick Kyra came up with was putting my tank top on her chest and resting him on it. Can't believe it worked, but it did. When Robert tried it, it work for about five minutes and then he wanted me again. I guess I should feel blessed he loves me so much, I'm just not really feeling it right now. Oh well. Hang in there, just look at Owen and visualize Josh there before not to long.


Shannon said...

At least it gives you funny content for your blog.

Hang in there. Let me know if there is anything I can do.

Colleen said...

SO FUNNY! Sorry, I know it's all so very true, but you made me laugh out loud throughout that whole post. I'm headed to the doc with Tommy to get him on the reflux meds this week. What started out as "happy spitting" has advanced to "grunt, whimper, whine, cry" every time he eats. If I'm any example, you will survive the colicky, sleepless, no pacifier baby! We've had them all in various combos!

go cougs said...

Soooooo sorry that you have to go thru this again. But Owen is doing well and you'll get there with Josh. Sounds like you are keeping your sense of humor about this whole reflux thing.

Universe: Maybe the Karma thing would have been better if you would raise your kids to be Cougs and not Dawgs. Or at least cut those Cougs some slack.

You: You know you could be right. I'll have to give that a try. Owen... from now on, we are rooting for the Cougs.

Uni: That is more like it. I'll try and see what I can do about Josh.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
SBM said...

Great post, Alissa. BTW, it was terrific to see you three! We made it back in one piece.