Monday night, I pulled a classic Alissa mistake. I got too focused on the "plan" for the evening instead of adapting to the current reality. I was really excited for our planned dinner of Chicken Carpese Sandwiches, so I walked in the door after work with Owen and headed for the kitchen. It's not an elaborate dinner - one that can easily be completed in 20 minutes and one with a decent set of options for my pint sized helper to participate in the preparation.
However, the situation on Monday included two tired, cranky, hungry people (one 2 year old, one pregnant lady). Instead of being a happy helper, Owen was begging to be held, throwing tantrums, and whining for foods that I just couldn't produce. I was apparently not in stellar form myself - misjudging portion sizes, dropping food on the floor, and getting more frustrated with myself and Owen by the minute. And so went the downward cycle that left us both angrily sitting at the kitchen table, Owen refusing to eat dinner and whining for strawberries (we have NONE) and me frantically downing a sandwich trying to prove that the effort was worth it.
It was not a proud parenting moment and put me in a worse mood the rest of the evening.
What I should have done: Recognize that Owen was tired and crabby after a long day at school - I had plenty of signs on our drive home from daycare. Recognize that I was tired and crabby - at 37 weeks pregnant, this is kind of a no brainer. Set the planned dinner aside, reach for the fish sticks, and be glad that frozen peas and milk mean a Owen will still get 3 food groups in his dinner. That would have given us 15 minutes of "mom&Owen time" to decompress and reconnect while the food cooked...
But no, I was too darn focused on those sandwiches. And the result was not a pretty scene when Scott walked in the door. Thankfully, he was up to the challenge and took over the Owen duty for the evening - to the extent that I even took a mini nap while Owen was in the bath. I got to re-connect with my kiddo while reading bedtime stories and all was well in the world.
I realize it all comes down to expectations. Both setting realistic expectations and ADJUSTING those expectations as the reality of the situation becomes clear. And I realize that I need to be even more focused on staying in the moment (and letting go of the expectations) as Baby #2 joins our family.
Parenting is a constant learning experience... and one that will keep teaching you the same lesson over and over and over and over and over until you (hopefully) figure it out.
On a positive note - Today was a day of NO expectations and Owen was in a remarkable "go with the flow" mood to accompany my tired, achy, sluggish body. We played happily at the auto repair shop, made some halloween crafts, ran a lazy errand, and even managed to vacuum the house. Oh, and I did the dinner prep while Owen was napping.
Apparently we are a "one size fits all" family with both boys hitting the exact same weight. Josh is over an inch shorter than his big brother is, so not as scary skinny, but still a tiny little guy. We are infinitely more relaxed this time and enjoying the wonder of new life. We are having a quiet, peaceful day at St Charles and expect to be home tomorrow.
For the rest of August and September, we were having too much fun at the pool on Fridays to plan anything else, but we're trying to get back into it for fall.
Two Owens on the old school teeter totter...
Shannon and I were laughing because we took the boys out to the Parks and Rec Fall Festival last weekend and rode the ponies, took a hay ride, and played a few little games. But neither of us wanted to haul pumpkins around, so we steered Owen and Kaden away from the actual field of pumpkins. So today, when we were headed out to DD, both boys were associating "pumpkin patch" with a hay ride through the spooky barn. Today, we made sure to at least let them play in the pumpkin field, but I still didn't have to haul home a pumpkin. (We have a friend that's going to let us have 1-2 of her home grown ones...)
I think we're hunkering down for "indoor" field trips this winter. November and December are always dicey with the weather, but hopefully we can get to the High Desert Museum at least once and start planning more fun spring outings - I'm thinking a fire station tour has got to get on the schedule pretty soon...
